Into the darkness
by Nessa Salinas
Summary: All Hermione wanted was to protect her loved ones. But to protect is to be strong. To protect is to be ruthless. To protect means you come last. And so she does, but at what price? Her soul? Her heart? Her life?
1. Chapter 1

Set during the DH, Malfoy Manor, right after Hermione is tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange.

Please Review. Everything belongs to Jk Rowlings. I just don't agree with the characters she killed.

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Chapter 1

I was lost in a world of pain. Everything hurt. Even her hair. I could vaguely hear Bellatrix's insane laughter. Ron shouting my name. Spells were being shot left and right but I couldn't seem to open my eyes. I tried but it hurt so much. All of a sudden I felt somebody haul me up by my hair. Now that woke me up completely.

"Drop your wands," Bellatrix whispered. "Drop them or we'll see exactly how filthy her blood is!" I could see Ron and Harry holding wands. "I said, drop them!" She screeched, pressing a blade into my throat. I hadn't even noticed that she was holding a wand. I must really be out of it. I felt a sting as she pressed. More blood spilled. I whimpered and tried to move away but in only made her tighten her hold.

My arm burned where she had carved in the word Mudblood. Something else seemed to be stirring in it too. It felt dark, sending a numb feeling through me. I blinked and saw Harry and Ron lower their stolen wands to the floor.

"Good!" She leered. "Draco, pick them up!" The Dark Lord is coming, Harry Potter! Your death approaches!" Bellatrix said as she dragged me with her closer to where Harry and Ron stood. "Now," said Bellatrix softly, as Draco hurried back to her with the wands, "Cissy, I think we ought to tie these little heroes up again, While Greyback takes care of Miss Mudblood. I am sure the Dark Lord will not begrudge you the right, Greyback, after what you have done tonight."

While she had been talking I kept on hearing a grinding noise that had been coming from above. I looked up before everybody else did and saw Dobby. He was unscrewing the crystal chandelier. He saw me looking and winked. Everybody had noticed by then the noise and as one looked up.

I pushed back as hard as I could and dove. As soon as I did I felt the knife cut a deep wound on my neck and I screamed at the same time that Bellatrix did. I grabbed my neck as I felt Ron haul me up by my waist. I looked over and noticed that Bellatrix had gotten her leg stuck under the chandelier. Draco had been the closest to us and was covering his face as blood dripped all over the floor.

Harry ran over to Draco who had dropped all three wands and snatched them up. He pointed them all at Greyback and yelled, "Stupefy!" The werewolf was lifted off his feet and slammed up into the ceiling before landing on the floor with a loud thump. By then Narcissa had noticed Dobby and pointed her wand at him. "Dobby! You! You dropped the chandelier-?"

The elf walked up to us and pointed his finger at his old mistress. "You must not hurt Harry Potter," he squeaked.

"Kill him, Cissy!" shrieked Bellatrix, but there was another loud crack. She was limping away from the chandelier. By then Harry had ran back to us dragging along Griphook, he threw two wands at us. I snatched one out of the air and flicked the wand at Narcissa's direction.

"Expelliarmus!" I weakly yelled. Her wand went into the air and land on my blood soaked hand.

"You dirty little mudblood scum!" bawled Bellatrix. "How dare you take a purebloods' wand!" Dobby stepped in front of me as Harry grabbed his tiny shoulder and the world spun but not before I glimpsed Bellatrix throw her small silver wand coated in my blood at us.

The world turned dark and we landed on the sandy ground with a thump. At first, all I saw was stars and the salty taste in my mouth. Then my body. Which was still shaking from the cruciatus curse and from blood loss? I felt Ron tighten his arm around my waist and bring me closer to Harry when all of a sudden I heard Harry scream, "DOBBY!"

I pushed Ron away and hurried to Harry's side as he cradled Dobby in his arms. I looked down at the silver hilt of the knife protruding from the elf's heaving chest. I staggered my way to them and slumped down next to Harry. He kept looking over my shoulder and bellowing for help.

For some reason, I knew exactly what to do. I pulled out the knife before Harry noticed and sliced my left arm which bore the mark Bellatrix had left behind. I let my hand rest in the middle of his chest where the gaping hole had been. Harry shouted and grabbed my arm trying to move it away. I shook him off and closed my eyes.

I felt something dark and deadly slither up from the wound and lace around my arm. I shuddered and tried to push away the pain that started to go up my arm. My blood went cold as it slowly made it into my body. It kept slithering inside of me until it took over my body.

I stiffened and screamed as it started to burn through my whole body.

I heard screams from Ron and Harry. I tried telling them that it was okay but all that came out of my mouth was blood-curdling screams.

Suddenly it stopped and I gave into the darkness that beckoned to me.

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Let me know what you think.

I will be uploading every two days.


	2. Chapter 2

Everything belongs to J.K. Rowlings. Please Review.

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Chapter 2

I slowly opened my eyes and immediately notice two sets of eyes focused on me. I gasped and moved back. It was so dark it took me a moment to realize it was Dobby and another unknown elf.

"Sorry Miss," squeaked Dobby as he and the elf moved closer. "You has saved I and I have come to thank you Miss Harry Potter friend." I slowly got out of the bed to kneel down next to the bed. "Call me Hermione. I don't know how I saved you Dobby but either way you welcome." I slowly got up and looked questioningly at the elf next to him. "Oh, sorry Miss Hermione, this is Nalu my elf-mate. She came to thank you miss."

I looked down at her. She was wearing a pretty flowery dress that seemed to be made out of several different types of clothes. "It's okay. There is no need." She smiled at me and nodded her big head.

With a loud crack, they left me alone. I looked around the room which didn't have a window so I couldn't see if it was morning or night. I looked down at my clothes and noticed that I was in gray sweat pants and a soft dark blue long sleeved shirt. I winked as I moved my left arm. I had forgotten about that.

I looked around for a wand. More like Narcissa's wand. I needed to find out where we were and who exactly was here too. I slipped on my shoes and walked out of the room. Right outside of the room I had occupied was two other rooms and stairs. I could hear voices downstairs. I followed them wondering where Harry and Ron were at? As soon as my feet hit the last stair I saw Harry and Ron hugging somebody at the door. They turned around and ran at me.

I smiled softly and held out my arms. "Hermione!" "Mione!" They each yelled at the same time. They hugged me carefully but I still winced. "Sorry Mione," said Ron as he slowly let go. Harry also let go and stepped back. "Are you okay? I didn't know what happened or what you did but you saved Dobby! But what exactly did you do?" asked Harry as he grabbed my injured hand and pulled the sleeve back to reveal the cut I had on my palm. I shrugged and moved away. I looked behind them to see Remus.

I ran over and hugged him. "It's good to see you, Professor!" I said as he hugged me back just as carefully as the boys had done. I guess they filled him in on what they had heard happen to me. "Are you okay Hermione? And I haven't been your Professor in years. Call me Remus." I nodded and stepped back without looking at him. Harry came up behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist. "Guess what Mione? Tonks had a baby and name me Godfather!" he said. He glowed with happiness. I smiled and asked, "What did you name him?" Remus moved back towards the door before answering, "Teddy Remus Lupin and if I don't get back right now he will drive his mother crazy." He waved and left. I turned towards Harry, "Where exactly are we?" He was about to respond when a deep voice filled the room. "Shell Cottage, Hermione." I gasped and turned towards the left where Bill Weasley stood next to his wife Fleur. I smiled at them, "I wondered where you both had gone." I slowly made my way towards him. My limbs felt heavy and slow as I reached them. "Who else is here?" I asked as I hugged both of the.

"Luna,Dean,Griphook and Ollivander. They were in the cellar already when they had taken us down there. I already spoke with the last two." Harry said with a meaningful look at me. I nodded, "How long was I out?"

"Two days. You should eat something before we discuss what to do next." Ron whispered at me from behind me. I nodded and moved towards the kitchen where Dobby and Nalu were cooking. Bill and Fleur went upstairs instead.

After eating we moved into the living room. "Okay, so Harry thinks that since Bellatrix freaked out about us having the sword then there must be a Horcrux somewhere in her vault," Ron said as he sat beside me on the loveseat. I nodded. "That does seem like it. And I think I know a way to get it in." I said as I looked over at Harry who had sat down in front of us. Harry looked down before grimacing and rubbing his scar

"The day we got here I was able to connect with HIM and he knows about us hunting him. He briefly thought about Hogwarts Ravenclaw Tower before his mind skipped to other places where he hid the rest of them. I guessing that there is three left. Nagini, something in Bellatrix' vault and Hogwarts. But we are running short on time and we need to split up on at least two of those." Harry said as he looked at both of us.

I looked down at my hands which had a bit of dried up blood in the nails. "I will go to Hogwarts and you two should break into Gringotts," I said as I looked Harry then at Ron. Harry frown while Ron straight up got to his feet and moved away from me. "You almost died Hermione. We both had to hear you screaming over and over again and you want us to let you go by yourself!" He bellowed. I stiffened and got up too. A little slower then I had wanted to.

"Ron, I will only hold you both back if I go with either one of you. You know this too Harry. I can get to Hogwarts and go to the Room of Requirements. I know several ways to get into the castle. Being able to use the time turner in our third year, Dumbledore told me most of them so I wouldn't run into myself. Some only are known to the head of each house. McGonagall herself taught me them." I said as I grabbed the couch to balance myself.

Harry got up and grabbed my injured arm. "He knows that Mione. I agree with you but it is true that we almost lost you." I nodded and hugged. I looked over his shoulder at Ron who had turned around to look at us. I couldn't read his face but his eyes told me what I needed to know.

I let go of Harry, "Where is my beaded bag?" Ron walked out of the room for a bit before coming back with it. I smiled at him and grabbed it. I grabbed several veils from the bag and gave it to them. "That's Polyjuice potion and some Blood-Replenishing potions in case you need them."

Harry grabbed them and him in return gave me a wand. The wand I had won from Narcissa. I tucked it away. I looked around the room and noticed the pile of clothes in the corner. I walked over to it to see my jacket I had worn when I had been captured. I grabbed it and looked it over searching for some of Bellatrix hair. She shed like a cat.

I found one and handed it to Harry, "You will need that in order to get into her vault." He frowned and tucked it away. "We are leaving in the morning but you should head out as soon as possible," Harry said as he gathered some blankets from the couch he had been sitting at. I nodded and pulled out a pair of dark jeans and a black turtleneck from my beaded bag. "I'll change and leave right after." Harry handed me one of the blankets. I guess I could use that and transfigure it into black robes.

I walked away without looking at Ron. I walked back upstairs into the room I had occupied. I took off my top and looked down at my arm. I gasped and almost shouted for the boys. Bellatrix had carved Mudblood into my arm with her silver knife which I guess had held some sort of dark magic. The wound was black with a hint of red. It looked terrifying and fascinating too. I touched it but it didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would.

It looked like I had it tattooed on me. It felt cool to the touch too. The veins around it stood out as well. They were black and faded it out an inch or so from the wound. I looked away and hurried up changing. I quickly used Narcissa- my wand now, to transfigure the blanket into a black robe. I fasten it on and walked out of the room.

I didn't know that when I left the boys I would meet them as not a girl but a woman. It would be my last time seeing them as boys too since when I would meet them again they would be men in my eyes. We would meet as different people, ravaged by war, ravaged by death.

But I, in particular, would be changed by what had been planted inside of me too.

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Let me know what you guys think.

I had not looked into the Head girl thing. It must have slipped my mind. Thanks for the correction. :)

-Nessa


	3. Chapter 3

Everything belongs to J.K. Rowlings. I just make a different version of her world. Note at the end.

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Chapter 3

I walked outside without seeing anybody else and walked out towards the sandy beach. The sun was almost setting and the air was cooling. I looked at the waves softly rolling before disappearing. I tightened my hand around the wand I'd won and softly said, "Dobby." I wasn't sure if he had heard me but a moment later I heard a crack and a little figure stood beside me.

I looked down at him, "I need you to take me to the Forbidden Forest.." His already big eyes went even bigger and he gently took my hand. The hand attached to the cursed carved word. "Miss Hermione wishes to be taken to the bad forest?" I nodded and looked away from him as the sun gave a few more rays of sunshine. "I would ask you to take me directly into the kitchens but I don't know if they have those warded against non-elfs. I don't want to risk it."

Dobby nodded and tightened his hold. He was about to say something when I heard footsteps running towards us. I quickly turned my body, wand ready to strike. It was Ron and Harry. My boys who I had always looked after.

"We came to see you off, Mione," Harry said as he neared me. Ron wouldn't look at me. He stopped a couple of feet away and looked at the finally setting sun. "I won't say goodbye Harry. I don't want to." I couldn't say anything after that. He seemed to understand.

I looked away from them and looked down at Dobby. "I'm ready." I never saw Ron hesitantly raised his arm as if to reach for me. I didn't see Harry wince and take a step towards me either. All I saw last was the setting sun.

I felt the world twist harshly and with a loud crack we were in the Forbidden Forest. It was dark already and I could see the top of Hagrid's' Hut. The lights were off but I couldn't be sure if anybody was inside. I turned to Dobby, "You need to go back. I know where I am going from here."

He stepped back and softly said, "Miss Hermione be safe," he left with a crack. I pulled the robe closer to my body. I had shrunk my beaded bag before I had left so I touched it to make sure it was still there. I cast a Disillusionment charm before stepping away from the hut to get near the Black Lake. I tried not to get too near it but close enough to be at least a couple of feet away.

I tried to quicken my pace and right when I would have gone inside the bridge when I saw a tall shadow grab me around the waist and hoist me up against it. My face was pressed against the side of the wooden bridge. I gasped and held up my wand trying to cast a curse when a cold and husky voice said, "Don't move unless you want me to kill you." I shivered and stopped trying to move away. I recognized the voice. Severus Snape. The man that killed Dumbledore. The man that had taken the title of the man he killed: the new Headmaster of Hogwarts. His body pinned mine with no gentleness.

"Now drop the charm and your wand." I did as I was told but I didn't drop the wand far. He grabbed both of my wrists in one of his large hands and raised them above my head and turned me harshly to face him. I heard him and inhale sharply as I started up at his sickly thin face. I tried not to show any emotion but I guess I wasn't as successful as I thought since he instantly narrowed his eyes on me.

"Miss Granger," he whispered threateningly as he looked deeply into my eyes, "I believe you don't' attend this school anymore. Why are you here Are you here to spy for Potter?"

I closed my eyes for a second before opening them and looking him in eye. "I am here for my own reasons. But since you seem to have caught me I think that anything else I say is irrelevant. As to Harry, I don't know where he is." I replied as I gazed into his cold eyes.

He tightened his hold and whispered, "Legilimens." I knew exactly what he was trying to do and I pulled up my occlumency shields before he could see inside my mind. I pulled everything behind a wall of black vines and thorns. I hadn't had anybody try this on me before so I didn't know how long it would hold. I kept my mind blank and pulled myself further and further away. The further I went the colder it got. I finally felt him break through and reach for me and my memories.

I couldn't let him find out about the mission that Dumbledore had given Harry so I tore myself away from him and pushed him out with all the magic inside of me. He gasped and flew back several feet before landing on his back. I didn't waste time, "Accio wand!" I yelled and ran away back towards the forest. I was compromised either way so I couldn't go back. I was almost there when a black shadow swirled around me and caught me up in it.

One moment my feet are touching the floor and the next my body is airborne. I struggled and kicked but he didn't budge. I felt my stomach drop as we swerved left and right. I remember the death eaters doing the shadow flying in the Department of Mysteries. I guess he really is one of them.

That shot down a cold and ugly feeling down my body as my carved mark pulsed and throbbed. After what seemed forever he dropped me down. It took me a moment to figure out where we were when I heard the voice of the dead.

"Miss Granger!" exclaimed Dumbledore. I looked up at his portrait and realized that Snape had taken me to the office that belonged to the headmaster of the school. How we got in I wouldn't know. I got up and trained my wand at Snape, "Call your master Snape. He can't do more damage than what has already been done to me by his slaves. What are you waiting for you traitor!" I bellowed as I stood with my back to Dumbledore. I faced Snape who had frozen for a second before moving closer to me. "What will you do Miss Granger is I do call him? I should just kill you myself if you have such a death wish!" He yelled as he stood in front of me with my wand at his throat.

"Severus! Stand back and calm yourself! Miss Granger, please lower your wand. I can explain. He is not a real Death Eater. I'll explain everything dear." said Dumbledore from behind me. I frowned and moved to the side making sure I didn't move away from Snape. I didn't lower my wand but just stepped back a couple of feet. I glanced back at Dumbledore who was frowning at me in concern.

Snape had taken a couple of steps away from me too and turned slightly away from me to pinch the bridge of his long hooked nose. I took a closer look at him and realized that he looked so skinny and gaunt.

I probably didn't look any better.

"Miss Granger-" I looked at my old headmaster, "Hermione, sir," I said as I glanced back at Snape. He was glaring out the window into the night sky. "Hermione, Severus is not a traitor. At least no more than me." Snape snorted rudely and walked away towards the desk on top of the steps. " He did what I asked him to do. He is innocent. You see Hermione, I was already dying and I would have gone insane if he hadn't killed me. I asked the impossible of a man who was already broken from doing something just as bad if not worst."

I had lowered my wand but didn't say anything. Not wanting to believe a word he was saying. I was still looking at Snape who had turned around to glare at Dumbledore. "There is no reason to tell her anything Albus! I did what I had to yes, but there is no need to tell her every detail! She won't believe you anyway. She will follow what that brat Potter says no matter what."

At that, I stiffened, "Don't you dare assume anything Snape! You don't know me so don't make it seem like you do! I will only believe what I can see with my own eyes not what anybody says." I said in indignation. He looked away but not a second later he gasped and grabbed his arm. He looked at Dumbledore then at me and bit out, "Don't leave this room or answer if anybody calls." before disappearing in a mist of shadows.

I felt my jaw tighten as I turned to Dumbledore, "You said that he was innocent and yet he leaves like a dog running back to its owner when called." As I said that something inside me swirled and left me feeling malicious about saying that. I frowned at that. I shouldn't be feeling this way but I couldn't seem to fight it.

Dumbledore looked at me in silence before he closed his eyes and whispered, "The bookcase directly behind you Hermione, pull the third book on the second to last shelf." I looked behind me to look for the book he was speaking off. I walked towards it and pulled it.

There was a slow hiss and then the whole bookcase moved back and slide to the left. I looked back at Dumbledore but he wasn't in his portrait anymore. I realized that the rest of the portraits were empty as well.

I walked in and the shelf slid out and back into place. The first thing I noticed was that the room was cold and dark with nothing but except a pensieve in the middle of the room. Right, above it was a blue misty swirl that floated above it. I walked up to it and the mist slowly dropped into the pensieve.

I put my wand away and grasped either side of it and plunged into whatever Dumbledore had wanted to explain before.

After what seemed hours of watching scene after scene I was able to get out of the pensieve. I fell to the floor in shock and disgust.

Shock because after all that had happened in the past with Harry made sense. Shocked because it was true what Snape had said to Dumbledore about Harry. He had to die in order to live. I felt angry tears stream down my face. I couldn't believe it. Snape did kill Dumbledore but only because he was forced to. Disgust because of the things I had shouted at him and about him.

I stiffened all of a sudden when I felt that something else swirl inside of me again. It was stronger too. It whispered to me. Making me feel raw and open. I gasped and tried to stand up. I didn't like the way it was making me feel. Like I could rage through this castle and kill anybody that stood in my way or completely have no reaction or feeling as I did the same thing.

Emotion without reason could get me killed instantly. Reason without emotion would make me do the unthinkable. The second one seemed more...appealing.

The odd feeling inside of me seemed to agree with me as it slowly faded away. I shivered and finally stood up. I pulled out my beaded bag which had I had shrunken. "Finite," I whispered.

I pulled out a large vial and used my wand to get all the memories into it. I cast a charm so it wouldn't break and put into my bag. I wiped the stray tears from my face and as I got close to the back of the bookcase it opened. I walked out to see Snape leaning against the stairs beside his desk. He had been looking Dumbledore before setting his gaze on me.

I looked him in the eye, "I'm sorry for what I had said before Professor Snape." I said as sincerely as I could. Just because I knew a little bit more about his situation didn't mean it would erase years of dislike and the fact that he had killed.

Snape looked like he was about to sneer but instead nodded his head before looking at Dumbledore again. "Are you sure you want me to give it to her?" Confused I glanced at Dumbledore. He nodded, looking gravely at me. Snape got up and moved towards me. He stopped a foot away and held out his arm. I lifted my hand up, palm facing up. He dropped a silver looking necklace. I gasped, "A time turner?" I stepped away from Snape and walked up to Dumbledore.

"Why?" I asked. He looked down at me with no twinkle in his old eyes. There will be a war fought Mis-Hermione, one where children will have to fight instead of the adults. The adults are blinded by prejudice. By pride. By fear. We have more to lose than them. Families will be broken apart. Children will die trying to save each other. I never wanted that. No matter what you may think of me from those memories."

He looked away before continuing, "I want you to use it an hour after the battle and go back and try to save those that will have no impact on the outcome unless you have to. Hogwarts is alive and it will let you know who is in danger the most. All you have to do is ask it. If we lose this war will be ruled by evil so profound it will destroy the very essence of who we are."

I slowly got down on my knees as the weight of the responsibility fell on my shoulders. I didn't know whether to cry out in rage or in sorrow. My hands rolled into a fist so tight I felt them throb. I closed my eyes. "You want me to watch them die first and then if I can save them? You do know I will have to kill in order to save them. I will have to dirty myself." I said softly as I opened my eyes to look at him. He suddenly looked older, graver as he answered. "Yes, I am sorry my child."

I heard Snape snarl and I turned around to see him in the same position as me. He glared up at the said portrait, "She will never be the same Dumbledore! You are asking too much of a child-" I cut him off before he could finish. "So where you Professor Snape! We were all just born at the wrong time. I am no more child than you are a traitor. It has been years since I have been a child. I don't even know what it feels like to laugh without worries. I am no child." He looked at me with

I turned back to Dumbledore, "I will do what I have to, sir." He gazed down at me sadly and nodded his head. All of a sudden all the other portraits filled up with people again. All the old headmaster's looked down at me with respect and sorrow. They nodded at me once and sat down as one.

I looked down at the time-turner with a blank face. I had the control to decide who lived and who died. My carved mark grew colder as I gazed at the necklace. A large part of me didn't want to do this. But that ugly feeling stirred up in me again. It felt cold as it moved within me. So cold, it helped clear my mind. Wiped out all troublesome emotion. It left me feeling secure in my decision.

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I don't know who to pair her up with. A large part of me wants it to be Severus but….

Reviews are welcomed.

-Nessa


	4. Chapter 4

Everything belongs to J.K. Rowlings.

Review/Comments are welcomed. Please enjoy this weird story that has been in my head for quite a while. I try to upload as fast as I can.

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Chapter 4

I was still staring down at the time-turner when I heard Dumbledore clear his throat. I looked up to see him looking pointedly at Snape.

"I think you should go ahead and tell her why you left Severus," he said as he looked sadly at me. I stiffened, "More bad news?" I asked without emotion. He nodded and turned back to Snape. I did too as I got up from my kneeling position. "What is it that you need to tell me? Is it about Harry?" I asked.

Snape looked at me for a moment before replying in an even tone, "Where are your parents Miss Granger?" he asked as he stepped forward. All the other portraits turned to look at him too. I curled my hands into a fist. "They are safe. I sent them away without any memory of me." I said carefully. I tried not to let my imagination get hold of me.

"I am sorry to say that they aren't safe anymore. Your father has been killed and your mother has been taken by Yaxley," he said as he stopped a couple of feet from me. For a whole second, all I kept hearing was the word killed.

Killed.

Killed.

Killed.

My father was...dead. I raised my occlumency shields up so fast that I gasped and took a step back. I blanked my mind and tried to process it with a cold detachment. My father was dead and my mother had been taken by Yaxley. I could feel a scream trying to break through but I forced it down. I couldn't let my grief blind me.

"That is why you left? Do you know where Yaxley took my mother?" I asked.. My voice sounded cold and unfeeling. It didn't bother me like I thought it would have.

"Miss Granger, who taught you about occlumency? Was it Potter?" he said without answering my questions. I looked directly into his eyes, "I read of course. I borrowed a book from Sirius' Library last year. It was very informative about occluding. It took me three months to understand it and execute it correctly. But I didn't need it much before. Until now that is. Now I seem to be able to do it effortlessly." I answered again in a monotone voice. I might be outwardly calm. So was my mind. But my heart was breaking, my soul was screaming. If he couldn't see it or Dumbledore either then it meant that I had finally mastered it.

He frowned and opened his mouth but before he could say anything Dumbledore cut him off, "I am sure that Miss Granger has a lot of things to process and I am sure she needs to rest. The night is fading so I think it's best if you show her to my old rooms Severus."

I looked away from both. I could feel my mind straining to keep up the shields. Snape nodded slowly before walking towards the entrance of the office and moved to the side and tapped the wall three times with his wand and whispered, "Crimson."

The wall made no noise as part of it turned into a stone door. It opened to reveal a dark cold room. Snape moved aside, "You can use this room to rest for tonight."

I walked in and before the door closed I whispered, "I am sorry, sir, for all the things I said earlier. You are not a bad person but a person who was forced to do the right thing when nobody else would. Just like you were forced to shoulder this burden I am too. So make no mistake, I am not a child anymore. You remember that when I come back after the war with Yaxley's head in my hands." I said as I slowly turned to look at him. He had frozen at the entrance of the room. "Whether or not you answer, it will happen."

The door closed in his face. I cast a silencing spell and a blocking charm before I fell to my knees screaming at the top of my lungs as the shield dropped.

I screamed for what felt like hours before blacking out.

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I stared at the door that had just closed in my face. I could feel a sense of dread fill me. I turned to look at Dumbledore. "You have no idea what you have just done to her, Albus. That girl isn't strong enough to do this. You are turning her into a killer! It was fine as long as it was only me." I said as I stormed right up to him.

Albus just looked away sadly, "I know. But she is the only one who can do this. You can't do anything since Tom thinks you are loyal to him. She has experience with the time-turner. She is strong. She is strong enough to do it for Harry if not for herself." I sneered at the last part. "She will destroy herself. But at what price? Answer me Albus!" I shouted.

He looked at me in despair and said in a broken voice, "The price will be high. But that is why you have to stop her before she destroys herself. You know what it's like. Nobody else can help her but you."

I laughed bitterly at that, "You know I will not survive this war. Once I survived but not a second time. Even if Potter wins, the war won't end. Death Eaters will still be at large."

He looked away from me to gaze at the other portraits. "You will survive and if you don't she will save you. She knows she will need you. Whether she acknowledges it or not will be up to her. You are the only one that knows how many Death Eaters there are. Who willingly took the mark and who was forced. I hope you help clear those that were forced and catch those who wanted it."

What he said was true but the young girl in my room would have to pay for it with her soul. The brightest witch of her age will turn into the darkest witch of her age if I let her do this alone.

My soul was in tatters while hers was whole. But I know that her's will end up just like mine by the time the war ended.

Nobody will escape this whole. Not even her.

0o0o0o0o0

I woke up slowly. It was dark and I was laying on the floor. I guess I had ended up sleeping on the floor after I had stopped screaming. I didn't even know what time it was. I slowly go up, wand in hand and lit the room with a swish of my wand. The fireplace lit up the room and gave the room a little warmth. I also dropped the spell and charm I had previously cast on the room. I drew up my shields again before my mind could think back on my parents.

I didn't have time to dwell on that. At least not now. I walked over to the bed in the corner. It had black sheets as well as black pillows. Basically black everything. This must be Snape's room since Dumbledore would have surely have had everything purple.

I set my beaded bag on the bed and pulled out clean clothes. A long sleeved shirt in black and dark blue jeans. I pulled out some underwear and grabbed them up too. I looked around the room and noticed three other doors.

I opened the first one which turned out to be a lab room. Yeap, this was definitely Snape's' private rooms. The second one was a walk in closet but it was bare except for a couple of boxes and dark clothes.

Turning to the last door I walked into the last room. It was a modest bathroom with a tub, toilet, and sink. I closed the door as I lit some candles with a wave of my hand. Turning the tap for hot water I let it fill up almost to the top before disrobing. I set my boots to the side so they wouldn't get wet.

I didn't slide in without hissing once, the scalding water slid over my sore limbs. I leaned back and lifted my arm. The words "Mudblood" seemed so out of place on my skin. The veins around it were stilled filled in black. It wasn't ugly except maybe for the word alone. I traced and shivered. Even in the scorching water, I was suddenly cold.

The mark pulsed with dark magic. It didn't hurt but it did make me feel dirty. It was like Bellatrix had inserted something inside me when she had tortured me. I would have to research it at a later date. But soon, since it was getting stronger every time it stirred. It stole my emotions and helped me keep my shields up.

I looked away and started washing up with the bottles above me. They smelled masculine. It smelled like the woods with a mixture of rain.

Once I was done I changed and walked out. On the nightstand laid a tray of food. I walked over and helped myself. But soon enough I couldn't eat. My emotions were pushing through my shields.

I pulled them in tighter and strengthened my shields. I didn't have time for that. I pulled out my wand and flicked my wand once. It was close to two in the afternoon. I hurried and grabbed my bag and pulled on the robes.

I tapped the stone door once and it slid open. I walked out into the office. It was deserted, Snape must be overseeing the castle. "Good Morning Hermione." I looked over at Dumbledore and nodded. "I am heading to the room of requirements, sir." I was almost out of the office when another voice stopped me.

"Miss Granger is it? I am Phineas Black, one of the old headmasters of this school."

I turned around to see an ancestor of Sirius Black. "I know who you are sir." I walked back a couple of feet towards his portrait. "I overheard your conversation last night. Something caught my attentions. Did you mention something about the Black Library? A book on occluding."

I looked him square in the eye, "Yes, when I visited Sirius' house he noticed me looking at his library and told me to be careful if I ever decided to read the books. He allowed me to take books if I wanted to."

Phineas Black looked down at me before nodding, "I see. Well, do be careful Miss Granger. Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Corruption leads to one's demise." I nodded and flicked my wand casting the disillusionment charm without uttering a word. I left them and walked towards the room of requirements. I saw a student here or there but nobody else.

I stood in front of the entrance and asked to be let inside. I walked into a room filled with students pointing their wands at me. Neville Longbottom was at the front looking right through me. I cast a silent Protego before dropping the disillusionment charm. It took him a moment to recognize me. "Hermione!" he yelled as he ran at me. I resisted the urge to curse him. That dark feeling had returned with a vengeance.

He wrapped me up in his arms and swung me around. Everybody else screamed my name as well. He set me down with a wide grin on his face. "Hermione! I almost cursed you! What are you doing here? You could be killed!" He was practically shouting in my face as he said this.

"I am here early since I have to find something in the castle. Harry had to do something else so in order to save time I came here. All I know is that it involves the Ravenclaw tower and Lady Rowena." I said with a tight smile. Everybody from the D.A was here. Luna stepped forward, "It will probably be the Diadem."

I thought about. Of course, it would be that. I nodded at her, " I will go speak with her. Wait here for Harry." I had barely taken two steps when Something came the through the wall where the entrance would have been. It was Lady Rowena herself. Several people gasped behind me. I bowed my head in respect.

She floated up to me. "I know why you need me,child. Dumbledore explained it to me when he asked to see me last night. But I do not have the Diadem. The Diadem was taken from me for an evil purpose. It reeks of Dark Magic. It smells of death." I nodded. I knew what she meant all the Horcrux felt that way too. "He hid it here in the castle. All you have to do is ask." With those parting words, she left as swiftly as she appeared. I closed my eyes and blocked everybody and everything.

If you can hear me I need to find the Diadem. It will not be destroyed completely but what it holds will be. Please help me find it.

I waited a couple of seconds before I heard several people shout in surprise. I opened my eyes to see mountains of furniture and various of other things. I turned around to face everybody again. "Please help find the diadem. It could be either really big or small." Everybody nodded and set to work. Ginny walked through everybody and hugged me tight. "How have you been?" she asked as she stepped back. "I have been okay. Staying alive you know. Harry was fine the last time I saw him. Don't worry about him Ginny. He knows what he's doing."

She nodded, "I know but I still worry." I smiled tightly at her. I walked away and began my own search. I kept looking at everything closely. I was near a wooden table that had a small chest in the middle of it. My mark started to pulse and I felt slithers of Dark Magic reaching out. It was pulling me towards the table with the chest. I walked over and the pulsing got stronger. I reached out with a hand and touched the chest.

The pulsing came to a complete stop. Almost waiting in anticipation to see what I would do. I lifted the lid and gasped softly. It was the diadem. It was small with a dark blue stone in the middle. It was definitely a Horcrux. I held up close to my eyes, I could see my reflection on the stone. My mark hummed in rhythm with it.

I tucked it into my shirt and walked back to where everyone was at. "I found it!" I yelled. As soon as the words were out of my mouth the room changed back. Everybody started talking as one.

"You found the long lost diadem?"

"Can I see it?"

"I bet it cost a lot of money?"

Everybody just kept talking loudly asking the stupidest questions ever. I waited until it quieted down before speaking. One by one they did until the room was silent. "I have found the diadem. We have to wait for Harry to come now. For now every train like if your life depends on it. Any second Hogwarts will be attacked by Death Eaters. They will not hesitate to kill you. Even if you stun them remember that they WILL get back up to finish the job. Those willingly to fight train with me."

Everybody looked at each other before nodding and breaking into teams. I knew that I would see many of them fall. I would have to see them die all because of a greedy man who wanted immortality. A man in search of power and the killing of all wizards who were muggleborns. I would try to save as many of them as I can.

Even if I had to die trying.

0o0o0o0 Always 0o0o0o0

I think I will set her up with Severus. But not for a while. Or who knows….

Review/Comments are welcomed. Good and bad that is.

Let me know what you think.

-Nessa


	5. Chapter 5

Everything belongs to J.K. Rowlings … The Queen of Harry Potter.

Review/Comments are welcomed.

Enjoy!

Chapter 5

We have been training for about five hours and nobody seemed to want to stop training. I called everyone to a halt.

"You need to take a break for now. Harry should be on his way. When he gets here, listen to him okay." Everybody nodded. I walked over to Neville. I pulled out the diadem and handed it to him. "Give this to Harry the moment he comes. Tell him that it's what we have been searching for. He will know what I'm talking about. But if you start feeling depressed or even angry hand it over to Luna with the same instructions okay."

He nodded and tucked it into his pocket. "You won't be here when he comes?" he asked as he looked down at me. I hadn't seen him in months but it seemed like all of a sudden he was a whole foot taller than me. I looked away, "No, I have other things to attend to. Also tell him to head to the place where the dead snake lays. The venom will take care of what needs to be destroyed."

Neville nodded slowly. "Okay, I will Hermione. You be careful in whatever you need to to do, okay." I hugged him and walked away without saying anything to the last part. I didn't have to. I walked to the door and cast the same spell I came in with.

I had noticed that I was able to do wandless magic a lot more than before. I did it without much trouble just like when I used occlumency. It was effortless. It was frightening for somebody that had to study before doing the actual spell work.

I walked back to the headmasters' office. I needed to call the Order. I stopped in front of the entrance to the office when I realized that the I didn't know the password. I paused remembering the password he used for his own rooms.

"Crimson," I whispered.

It opened and I walked in. All the portraits were talking at once.

"He knows his here."

"War is here. War is here."

"They will destroy this school!"

"Everybody calm down!"

"Snape is going to catch him for sure!"

"Catch who?" I asked loudly. Everybody turned to face me at once. "Harry Potter of course!" yelled one portrait. I frowned. He must have come the moment I left. It hadn't taken me that long to get here. "Snape went looking for him?" Dumbledore nodded. "He has an image to keep so he will look for him but do nothing.

I walked over to Dumbledore, "Has Professor McGonagall already called the Order?" I asked. He nodded, "Yes, they were all waiting for her to call them in and grant them access to her floo."

I was about to remove my beaded bag when a large patronus came galloping in. "Snape has been sacked. Harry is heading to the chamber," it said in Ginny's voice.

It has started then. Voldemort was probably already here with his followers. I was heading out when I heard a crack and Severus appeared. He had a hollow look in his eyes and his hair was all over the place, "Good thing you are here. HE is here, right outside the gates. The rest of the Order is already here. I will be at the Shrieking Shack waiting for his orders. Send Potter over to me so I can tell him what he needs to do."

"He will not take it well," I said already knowing that Harry would react in anger. I couldn't be around him since I will be using the time-turner. I need to know where to go to and being with him would be too much of a risk.

"I will handle him Miss Granger." he said and turned to leave but not before saying, "Be careful Hermione."

"You too," I whispered.

He left the same way he came in. I pulled my wand out and flicked it, "Expecto Patronum!" For a moment nothing happened. I felt fear race through me thinking I had lost my otter. A second later a white silvery creature pounced out. It was a cat. A margay cat to be exact. Its characteristics were very particular. Big soulful eyes and round tiny ears. It was a bit bigger than Crookshanks was but skinner too.

It bounded over to me and rubbed against me. "Snape needs to tell you something Harry, he will be waiting for you at the shrieking shack. Please listen to him, Harry." I sent it with my message and before I walked out dumbledore called out to me.

"Hermione, please take the vial underneath the staircase to the left. There is a box with several scrolls in there. The one with the red scroll. Take it with you. As well as the gray and blue ones." I pulled them out and tucked them into my beaded bag. "You will need the red one to combat the strongest of attacks." I frowned at that but didn't say anything. I nodded at him without looked at him.

No matter what he did or said it wouldn't change the fact that he was all manipulating us even after he was dead. Teenagers fighting the war instead of the adults. The adults themselves attacking us. It was time to show them that even teenagers could be pushed to the limit as well. I would bypass that line separating me forever from teen to adult. Taking lives wasn't something a teenager would do.

I pushed everything behind and fully raised my shields up. I couldn't be blinded with emotions. Not if I could save lives. I knew I couldn't save everyone but I could at least do this much.

As soon as I stepped out I noticed right away a lot of students running towards the hallway that would lead them to the marble staircase. I looked around but didn't see any Slytherins. I took off the robes I was wearing and let them fall to the floor.

There was no need to hide anymore. I ran towards the Great Hall where everybody was at. McGonagall saw first. "Miss Granger! It is good to see you dear!" she said as she quickly walked over with Molly Weasley. Both women hugged me tightly. For some reason, it didn't make me feel better like it would have once before.

"I thought you would be with Harry?" asked McGonagall. I smiled tightly, "No, I have my own task to accomplish. Do you need any help in here? I can fight here and also take care of the injured or bring them in?" She nodded and conjured parchment. She tapped it once with her wand and names started to appear. "This is a number of people and where they will be positioned during the fight. The Order will be on the list as well." I looked the list over.

Library- Irma Pince, Rolanda Hooch, Eloise Midgen, Terry Boot

Bell Tower- Colin Creevey, Bill Weasley, Tonks, Slughorn, Pomona Sprout

Wooden Bridge- Neville, Ginny, Seamus, Susan Bones, Penelope Clearwater

Middle Courtyard- Lavender Brown, Lisa Turpin, Hestia Jones, Charlie Weasley

Clock Courtyard- Fleur, Dean, Wayne Hopkins, Parvati, Katie Bell

Middle Tower- Remus, Luna, Parvati, Hannah Abbott,Oliver wood

Astronomy Tower- Fred, George, Percy, Padma, Hope Fawcett, Lee Jordan

Viaduct- Filius Flitwick, Anthony Goldstein, Michael Corner

Hospital Wing- Poppy, Arthur Weasley, Ernie, Cho Chang

Entrance Court- Aberforth Dumbledore, Septima Vector, Justin

Great Hall- Molly Weasley, Sinistra, Minerva, Angelina Johnson

It would be easier with this list to figure out where to go when I use the time turner. It gives me an idea of where people would be when I went back. I noticed that the headmaster's' office wasn't guarded. Not that it needed it anyway.

I was about to respond when we heard an explosion outside and cries fill the air.

I put the list away and ran to the Entrance Hall. Black shadows seem to fill the night sky as they zoomed in and out around the castle. They had finally gotten through the wards. I wasn't going to hold back this time. I wasn't going to become the victim this time.

I saw one heading towards me and without thought, "Avis Incedemto!" I yelled as birds of fire flew out of my wand and speed towards the Death Eater. Right before they set him on fire I flicked my wand and without saying anything I conjured up whips of fire. I jumped away from the curse the Death Eater threw at me. I flicked my wand and extended the whips to entangle my attacker. A horrified scream filled the air and he flew downward, still wrapped up in my whip. I moved back as the Death Eater hit the ground in front of me. It was a man who could be my father's age.

My father who was lying dead somewhere right now. For all, I knew this one was probably the one that killed him along with Yaxley. I wanted to rip him apart with my bare hands. My mark pulsed, I did smile sinisterly at the man. He kept screaming as the whips that bounded him burned brighter.

Now that I looked closely at him he sort of looked like Crabbe. Just older. I looked up when I saw Kingsley Shacklebolt walk up to me. "I'll take him, Miss Granger," he said as he waved his wand and levitated the Death Eater who was staring at me with wide eyes as he screamed.

I looked away before I actually killed him. I moved further out into the courtyard. In the distance, I could make out large objects moving towards us.

Giants.

I ran back inside and told McGonagall. "They have Giants coming this way." She froze, "Hagrid must have been captured then." I frowned. No, not our sweet Hagrid. I was about to head back out when I heard somebody scream with so much pain I pulled up my occlumency shields tighter. Everybody looked over at Molly Weasley who was screaming as she ran towards Percy. I walked over slowly, he was carrying the body of one of the twins.

"It's Fred, mother," said Percy as he laid his fallen brother on one of the stretchers on the floor. "He was near an explosion and…" Percy didn't finish talking before he too started crying along with his mother. I heard a gasp at the entrance and saw George and Ginny standing at the entrance of the Great Hall. They both ran towards their fallen brother.

I moved away from it all and towards the entrance. I didn't know if I was strong enough to just stand here and not use the time-turner. I needed to hurt somebody, grief was monster inside of me. I saw Kingsley with Aberforth looking out into the darkness. I saw more shadows moving towards us and I knew what they were. Dementors.

I ran towards them and saw everybody moving back as the shapes got closer to us. I saw another Death Eater approaching both men and ran. I moved around derbies and flicked my wand out. My mark suddenly grew colder and it cleared my mind. I raised my wand higher "Confringo Mandela!" I screamed. The Death Eater stopped and then bellowed. His hands had been completely sliced off at the wrist. His wand dropped to the floor.

Kingsley turned around in surprise as he saw the Death Eater fall to the floor. He looked over at me a shock. I don't know what my face look liked but I was guessing it wasn't pretty. I looked away before walking back inside. It was becoming easier and easier to hurt people. I looked down at my covered arm. My mark was pulsing with the rhythm of my heart and it felt good.I walked in to see most of the Weasley's in the Great Hall except for Ron. I wondered if they did go see Snape. I brushed that thought away. I then noticed right away the increase of bodies that lay on the stretchers. I was only gone for a second. I glanced around and noticed that some of them were little ones who I was guessing hadn't made it to safety before the battle had started.

I went around and stopped when I saw a body I recognized. Cho Chang. Harry's old girlfriend. Her arm was completely torn off. I took out the parchment paper with the locations of all the people fighting. She had been in the hospital wing with Dennis, Ernie, Arthur, and Madam Pomfrey.I grabbed a quilt on the side and covered her. Hopefully, I could be able to save her after. I kept walking when I again heard somebody shout in agony. Walking back to see Remus being carried in by Oliver Wood. No! He just had a baby! No No No!I felt my magic spinning out of control. I started running towards his body when Bill came in with another body.

Tonks.

I was about to go and kill any Death Eater that stood in my way when Voldemort's voice filled the Great Hall. "You had fought valiantly. Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery. Yet you have sustained heavy losses." I looked around the Great Hall. Bodies lying too still. Some writhing in pain. Others lost in their own pain. Yes, we did lose a lot more than we thought we would have.

"If you continue to resist me, you will all die, one by one. I do not wish this to happen. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a loss and a waste. Lord Voldemort is merciful. I command my forces to retreat immediately. You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. Treat your injured." he said in his cold haunting voice.

I looked at everybody's faces and none showed weakness. "I speak now, Harry Potter, directly to you. You have permitted your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself. I shall wait for one hour in the Forbidden Forest. If, at the end of that hour, you have not come to me, have not given yourself up, Harry Potter, and I shall find you, and I shall punish every last man, woman, and child who has tried to conceal you from me. One hour."

The whole castle was silent. Nobody said anything or so much as moved. I was the first one to move. I was about to head outside and check for bodies when a stag came in running and stopped in front of me. "Snape is dead. Killed by Nagini. Shrieking Shack. I'm coming, Hermione."

I gasped and so did McGonagall who stood to the far side of the room tending to a student. I started walking which turned into a full sprint. All I heard was my name being shouted by different people. No, he can't be dead.

No. Not him.

His the only one that knows or will know what I have to do. I can't let him die. Not like this; everyone thinking he was a real Death Eater.

I apparated as soon as I cleared the Viaduct. I landed in a room filled with the smell of death. Blood was smeared on the floor as if somebody had dragged their body across it. I followed it and gasped at what I saw. Snape was lying in a pool of his own blood. He slowly turned to me with glazed eyes.

"Hermione."

0o0o0o0 Always 0o0o0o0

Sooo…...how was that?

Voldy's speech is from the (DH)

-Nessa


	6. Chapter 6

Everything belongs to the amazing J.K. Rowlings. I have already written the next chapter too.

Let me know what you think. By the way, I took the test on Pottermore to figure out my Patronus. Guess what it is. Tell me yours.

Enjoy!

0o0o0o0 Always 0o0o0o0

Chapter 6

"Snape," I whispered as I quickly walked over to him. He was on his side and had his hand over his throat. The blood still flowed freely between his fingers.I felt my shields shudder and collapse. My mark had stopped pulsating the minute I have come looking for Snape. I quickly grabbed my beaded bag and pulled out Blood-Replenishing potions. "How many times did Nagini bite you?" I asked as I tipped three potions down his throat. He slowly shook his head. I accioed the only bezoar I had.

"I'm going to apparate you to my house okay. I have more potions there. Plus I can't stay, I need to head back." I didn't wait for him to react and apparated us into my room in my parent's house. I levitated him onto the bed and cast a diagnostic test on him. He was dying fast due to the venom was attacking his system. I then remembered what Dumbledore had said, "You will need the red one to combat the strongest of attacks." I pulled it out of my bag and opened it. It didn't have anything. It was blank. I growled and whispered, "Aparecium."

A vial appeared nestled in red silk. Then slowly words appeared on the bottle. "Phoenix Tears." I gasped and didn't think twice. I flicked my wand and his upper body became bare. He shivered but didn't open his eyes. I pulled his hands away from his wound. He hissed and tried to move away. "Don't move! You will only make it worst," I said as I flicked my wand again, "Tergeo." The blood disappeared and now I could see the wound clearly. I tried not scream and what I found.

The right side of his throat was gashed open almost like if Nagini had tried taking a bit out of him instead of just sinking her fangs into him. I looked up at his face, his eyes were glazed. I cursed and opened the vial. I had to trust Dumbledore or else this man would die. I had to hurry and return to Hogwarts as well. I gently poured the phoenix tears into his wound, I waited for what seemed like forever before Snape hissed and grunted as it slowly worked its way through his system.

I wasn't sure if it had worked but he had stopped grunting and the glazed look in his eyes faded slowly. I moved away from him and finished undressing him. I tried not to look at him but I quickly flicked my gaze down and froze. He didn't wear underwear. I gasped and look up at him. He had passed out. Thank Merlin...

I pulled out the chest from under my bed, grateful that I always had potions and creams at home. A slice a pain ripped through me and I ruthlessly pulled my emotions in. I had to learn to stay occluding all the time. If only for my sake. I set the chest on the bed next to him and covered him with my quilt. I walked over to my lamp and turned it on. I grabbed my beaded bag and looked one last time at him, he was breathing a bit rough but he didn't seem like he was knocking at death's door anymore, before apparating to Hogwarts.

I landed in the middle of the Great hall. Several people gasped and I slowly raised my hands. "It's me, Hermione Granger." They nodded back at me and I slowly turned around to face the doors. It seemed like everybody was gathered by the Entrance Hall. I walked up beside Molly who was holding George in her arms. I moved to the side and stared at what could possibly be the worst thing I have ever set eyes on.

Harry.

Limp.

Unmoving.

In Hagrid's' arms.

He was dead. We had lost the war. I heard Ginny scream and run forward. Her father grabbed her around the waist and yanked her back. Ron shouted and grabbed her too. Voldemort was walking closer to us and was laughing.

He was laughing. Laughing as if my best friend wasn't dead a couple of feet away from him. I pulled my shields up, my mark started to pulse in rhythm with my heart which felt like it would burst from my chest. I placed my hand on it and felt the cold imitating from it. My heart was already screaming as another wound appeared on it. I pulled pushed them back hard. I had to think clearly. Think of some way to go back and keep Harry alive.

I could hear Bellatrix's laugh stand out from the rest. That vile woman needed to die. She was clinically insane but powerful. But only with a wand. Without one she wasn't as strong. I vaguely heard Voldemort ask if anybody would be willing to join. Or die. I would rather die than join him. I moved away from everybody and slowly walked further inside.

Taking out the time-turner I was about to set the time I needed to go back to when I heard a bellow from outside. I looked up just in time to see a large body flying through the air right where I had been standing.

I calmly whispered, "Arresto Momentum." The body stopped immediately and I gently laid it down. It was Neville. I knew he was fine unless he had been hit with the killing curse. I pushed that thought away and walked around him just in time to hear, "Harry is alive!" I heard Voldemort scream in outrage and saw a lot of green lights flash around. So more deaths would happen before he was stopped. I walked to the entrance, just in time to see several people on our side fighting with the Death Eaters. I also saw several other Death Eaters apparate away.

Cowards.

I stopped when I saw a figure walk into my line of sight. It was Antonin Dolohov. The man who had ripped my chest open. I twirled my wand between my fingers. I wanted to kill him. I needed to kill him. My arm that bore the very thing they were trying to end pulsed. It centered my focus on the need to kill him. Dark magic swirled inside of me as my thoughts turned darker. He narrowed his eyes at me and raised his wand and without saying anything he moved his wand in a familiar motion. I didn't have to say anything and with a casual flick of my wand, I vanished it.

Not giving him a moment to react I threw a curse at his face and watched as his lips spread wide. So wide that the edges of his smile ripped. He screamed and blindly threw curses at me. I kept my wand leveled and kept the curse going. His bloody smile had almost reach mid-cheek when I heard Ron scream, "GINNY!" I looked over quickly at where I had last seen Ginny and saw her losing her own against Bellatrix.

Ginny was only able to deflect them but wasn't able to send any back. I looked around for the rest of the Weasley's but they were all engaged in their own battles. Molly was the closest but she was fighting two Death Eaters. I turned my back to Antonin and ran over to Ginny.

She was sweating and being moved back into the seats against the wall. She had no escape. I felt a stinging curse hit my shoulder. I waved my wand once and sent reducto behind me. I heard an explosion but didn't look back. I had to get to Ginny. Bellatrix had already taken Sirius from Harry. She couldn't let her take Ginny as well.

I ran around other people engaged in battle until I was right behind the insane witch. I grabbed her by the hair and kick her legs from underneath her. She fell backward screeching like a banshee. I quickly cast Conjunctivitis on her without saying it out loud.

Bellatrix screamed as the veins in her eyes swelled before exploding. I looked down are her silently. I almost smiled at her pain. My blood turned to ice as I recalled they way she had tortured me. She tried using her wand against me but I quickly slapped it away. I leveled my wand at her again and whispered softly, "Various."

At the tip of my wand came out a whip of fire. I directed it towards her and wrapped it around her neck. She screeched and clawed at it. It burned her fingers and you could smell burnt flesh. I looked over at Ginny was looking at me with wide eyes. "Finish her," I said to her as I pulled Bellatrix over to her.

Ginny eyes narrowed in anger. Without hesitating, she pointed her wand in the center of Bellatrix's chest shouting, "Defodio!" I looked down at the gaping hole the spell had made. It was a clean death. She should have been tortured for days, weeks, months, even years if possible.

Something in the back of my head told be me I should be bothered by it. But I couldn't seem to care at the moment. I let her body drop to the floor with a thud. I looked up at Ginny who seemed to finally realize what she had done. The Order said not to kill unless you really had to but in this case, well they would have to overlook this. The insane woman was done forever and nobody had to live in fear that one day she would break free from Azkaban.

"It's okay, Ginny, she was going to kill you without remorse. What you did was mercy compared to what I would have done." I said as I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards her father who had just bound the Death Eater he had been fighting. Her mother had taken care of the Death Eaters who had been fighting her. Both of them moved to embrace her. I stepped back and tried to push the pain that had slipped through my shield. If only…I couldn't think of that right now. Or ever.

"Are you okay?" Her father asked her. I glanced around and walked over to pick up the wand I had slapped from Bellatrix hands. It wasn't hers since I vaguely remember Harry using it when we had been at the Shell Cottage. Plus I remember it perfectly since I have been close and personal with it before.

As I dangled it in front of me I heard a roar fill the air. I looked up in time to see Rodolphus Lestrange heading me. I backed up and pulled both wands together. He was spitting mad and growling as he ran towards. "You filthy mudblood whore! I will kill you for what you have done!" I was about to lift my hand when I saw somebody else step in front of me.

Malfoy.

He flicked his wand, "Sectumsempra." I stepped aside and watched as Rodolphus gasped and tried to wave his wand but the cut across his chest prevented him from doing so. He fell back with a thud much like his wife had done. I grabbed Malfoy's arm and jerked him around. "Why? Why did you do that Malfoy?" I asked through gritted teeth. My shields were fading in and out as I felt some unknown emotion swirl through me.

He looked down at me before answering. "I never wanted this. To be on HIS side. I never wanted to fight in this war. I would rather die than suffer through the world he is trying to create. My mother and I never wanted any part of it. She might have once believed in the cause of it but not anymore. Not after what has happened. Only my...father." He looked away in shame.

I was about to reply when I saw something glinting in the background. The sword! Neville had somehow gotten ahold of it and now swung it at Nagini's head. A clean slice and the head fell. A large black mist screamed as it floated out of Nagini's body. Another scream filled the air and everybody even me moved towards the entrance doors.

There laid the body of the once powerful dark lord. Harry was barely standing on his feet beforeGinny broke away from her family and ran to him. Everybody began talking as one and shouting in joy. I turned to Malfoy who had been at my side the whole time.

He had a blank expression on but his eyes betrayed him. They were filled with relief. I pulled out a piece of parchment and flicked my wand at it. "I don't know if your father has gone back to your Manor. But you can stay at this location. Apparate at this location. There is a house there that is covered by trees. No other houses are in sight so you will know which one it is. Stay there and set up wards while we handle this. Take your mother and go." I said as I handed him the parchment. He looked down at it for a minute before grabbing it.

He turned on his heel and left.

Everybody seemed to be crowding Harry so I didn't even try to go near him. I went out and headed towards the hospital wing. I knew that they had sent a list of the dead there.

I opened the doors to the hospital wing and saw Madam Pomfrey holding her wand towards me. "It's okay, Madam Pomfrey, we won." She smiled and walked over to me. She wrapped her arms around me. "Thank Merlin child, I don't think I can stand looking at more dead bodies." She let go to tend to Parvati who had been wounded earlier. She let everyone know that we had won.

Everybody in there looked relieved but sad. I walked over to the table that held the list.

Fred Weasley

Professor Vector

Cho Chang

Michael Corner

Lavender Brown

Wayne Hopkins

Remus Lupin

Nymphadora Lupin

Elphias Doge

Terry Boot

It was a short list. I quickly made a copy and walked out of the hospital wing. I headed to the Gryffindor tower which I knew had been vacated before the battle had started. I marked the ones that I would save. I couldn't save everybody. I wouldn't have enough time and I didn't know if most of those deaths could change the outcome of the war.

I stopped in front of the portrait leading into the tower. The fat lady wasn't in it. I opened the portrait myself and walked in. There was the large hole right above the stairs. Other than that nothing else seemed wrong with it .

I pulled out the time turner and moved away from the hole in the wall. I set the time-turner back so that it took me to the beginning of the battle. The world started moving fast backward.

I closed my eyes until it stopped. I tucked inside my shirt and looked around the common room. The hole at the top of the stairs wasn't there so that that must mean nobody has gotten in yet. I turned to walk towards the portrait door when I felt an explosion behind me. I whirled around and saw a tall dark figure with white blond hair standing there.

"Well, what do we have here. A lone Gryffindor? And a girl at that. This should be fun indeed."

0o0o0o0 Always 0o0o0o0

Who is it? Lucius Malfoy? Draco?

So I created an account on Instagram for this story alone. I will be posting pictures of what certain scenes I think should look like and let you know when I will be updating or if I will be late updating. - nessa_fanfiction21

~Nessa


	7. Chapter 7

Everything belongs to J.K. Rowlings...she invented this series and us fans just need a bit more.

Enjoy

0o0o0 Always 0o0o0o0

Chapter 7

"Wait a moment. I know who you are. You're that cunt who messed with my memories!" Thorfinn Rowle shouted as he raised his wand at me. I quickly cast protego and deflected the curse he sent my way. He kept throwing curse after curse. I backed up against the wall since I didn't want him at my back. "You have no idea of the things I want to do to you, mudblood. I will enjoy your screams very much," he said with a leer across his face. I pulled my shields up not trying to imagine what he meant. "I will have you begging for death after I enjoy your feeble efforts to get away from me ."

I smirked at that, "I will make you regret ever touching the innocent, Rowle."

He seemed thrown off for a moment before throwing another stunner at me. I moved my wand quickly and whispered, "Fumos maximus." The room instantly filled with black smoke. I quickly sent him two more spells. Obscure and Incarcerous which would blind him and bind him. I heard a thud followed by a grunt. I walked over to him as I cleared the smoke. He was laying on his back and his eyes were glazed over. Chains held him immobile.

I grab his hand gently as I let the cool feeling of my occlumency shields raising up and soothing my thoughts. I plucked his wand and pocketed it. My mark had been pulsing for a while now. It didn't bother me like it once had. Whatever was inside of me helped me. I just didn't know if it was in a good way or not. It didn't matter since it focused my thoughts and blocked out any stray emotions.

"Let me go you filthy mudblood!" He screamed at me with spittle flying out of his mouth. If I had a Galleon for every time somebody called me that I would be richer than the Black family had been. Thinking of Black House I remembered a certain dark book that I had "borrowed" from them. It had spells that would help me with this type of scumbag.

I grabbed my wand and pointed it at the center of his forehead and said, "Valdtaly Oriae." The curse would make him relive every perverse/rape but through the victim's eyes. For a moment there was only my breathing and his harsh one. All of a sudden, he started screaming in horror. The book had only explained the basics of the curse. That it would make them almost physically feel what they had done to the victim. I got up and stared down at him in had to deal with the likes of him and still be a little sane. There were many things to discuss with Snape. I cast the disillusionment charm again and walked out of the common room. The halls were empty everybody must have moved towards the Great Hall right away. I was almost to the top of the tower when I heard Fred and George talking. him still screaming at the top of his lungs.

I got up and stared down at him in fascination. Snape had to deal with the likes of him and still be sane. There were many things to discuss with Snape. I cast the disillusionment charm again and walked out of the common room. The halls were empty everybody must have moved towards the Great Hall right away. Walking up to the Astronomy Tower I could faintly hear the voices of the others. I was almost to the top of the tower when I heard Fred and George talking.

"I think we have enough potions, George," said Fred. I walked over a little closer and saw George carrying a box and Fred had several vials in his hands. I was guessing it was blood-replenishing potions. "I have to get everyone potions. I'm heading to the library next. Terry had set a trap but ended up in his own trap so they need some potions. I WILL see you later Fred." George looked pointedly at Fred as he said that.

"Later, George."

"Later, Fred."

George grabbed the broom that was leaning against the pillar next to Fred and quickly cast a charm on himself and the broom. He disappeared. Must have used the same charm I was using. I looked over at the other people in the same group as Fred. Lee Jordan, Hope Fawcett, Padma Patil, and Percy. Only Percy was near him since everybody else was either on the catwalks or on the first level. I slowly moved away from them and stopped at the pillar next to Fred. He started talking to his older brother.

I wasn't listening to their talk. Instead, I was looking around the area surrounding the tower trying to look for any Death Eaters. I had my wand ready as well Rowel's. I knew it was hard to handle two wands at once but ever since Bellatrix tortured me...it has been easy to do some things.

I looked around the pillar Fred was standing in front of when I heard a broom zoom by. I noticed the hooded figure first. The wind blew back its hood and I narrowed my eyes. The man looks suspiciously like Crabbe just older. He aimed his wand at the pillar where Fred stood. I heard Fred saying, "...I don't think I've heard you joke since you were…" He didn't finish what he was saying as the spell hit the pillar. I pointed my wand at Fred, "Carpe Retractum." He was pulled towards me and out of the way of the explosion. I let Fred go and looked over at Percy. He had seen the explosion and had moved forward. He looked confused for a moment when I heard the stone under him give way. I jumped towards him as Fred screamed, "PERCY!"

Percy went down. I heard him scream before hitting the grounds below with a thud. I stumbled back and hit the pillar behind me. Fred was screaming and scrambling over to the edge. The other guys on his group were coming to see what had happened but I couldn't concentrate on them. I just kept hearing his screams and the sound of his body hitting the ground below.

I felt a scream building up at the back of my throat. My mind was being stretched as well as my shields. I grabbed my head as my mark pulsed and throbbed. I pulled my emotions tighter and blocked them with everything I had. My magic was swirling around on my skin. Cold and powerful. I need to continue on no matter what. I left Fred on the floor crying and screaming for his fallen brother. I had saved him but for the price of his brother's life.

Once I arrived at the middle court I was going to go around it using the archways but I noticed that no Death Eaters were there. Charlie Weasley and Lisa Turpin were facing the left side of the courtyard while Hestia Jones and Lavender were on the other. I knew that Lavender would die I just wasn't sure when exactly. For all, I knew she could have died at the same time as Cho Chang.

I was about to leave when I heard a howl pierce the night. I had forgotten about the werewolves. I looked behind Lavender who was standing closer to the archway. There were three men heading towards us. At the front was Fenrir Greyback. He was followed by two other men. They looked wild just like he did. Must be from his pack.

Lavender stiffened and made as if to move back when I heard Lisa shout. I looked over at her. She wasn't looking at us anymore. Two other men had joined us but they were definitely Death Eaters. One cornered Charlie and the other Lisa. They seem to have it in control so I turned to look at Fenrir who was still standing under the archway. He was leering at Lavender who in return had a look of disgust on her face.

I couldn't let Lavender die. Reason being; Greyback wasn't important to the outcome of the war. I sent a silent bombarda at the archway above him. The stones exploded and crushed one of the werewolves behind of him. Greyback howled and jumped to the side. That put him closer to me.

Greyback sniffed the air all of sudden and turned in my direction. "It seems like you have a traitor amongst you," he growled with a sneer plastered to his face. I stiffened and quickly cast Failendo Faim silently as well. It took away my smell and any noise. He growled louder and moved as if to pounce. I held my wand ready and was about to curse him when Hestia yelled out, "Move Lavender!" We looked over at them just as the second wolf made a grab at Lavender. Hestia pushed the girl out the way as the werewolf launched itself at her.

He grabbed Hestia's neck and twisted it hard. We heard a loud crunch and she was gone. He threw her body to the floor and turned towards Lavender. I heard Charlie shout and turned to see him run towards us. Lisa had also bound the Death Eater she had been fighting and was running right behind him. Greyback growled and took one more sniff in my direction and turned tail.

The coward.

Charlie sent a curse at the werewolf who was still standing over the body of Hestia. He flew back and hit the ruined archway. I turned away from them; I knew that that by saving Lavender had resulted in the death of Hestia even if she had gotten in the way and saved Lavender. I was out of the court before the other could reach Hestia. I had three more people to save. In exchange for them, I would indirectly kill somebody else in return. It made me a monster. A monster who took it knowing fully well what she had gotten into.

Heading towards the middle towers (Dark Tower) I passed all seven floors until I reached the topmost cell on top of the tower. Walking in slowly I saw Oliver Wood standing next to Parvati talking near the cell. Remus was beside Hannah near the ledge looking out into the transfiguration courtyard.

I was guessing that several hours had passed already. I walk slowly over to Remus, I need to be close to him since I didn't know when exactly he died. I was twirling my wand around when I saw three shadows heading towards us. Remus raised his wand before anybody else did.

Antonin landed in front of Hannah and Remus while the other two Death Eaters landed behind him facing Oliver and Parvati. Remus stepped in front of Hannah, raising his wand at Dolohov. "Take care of the runts, MacNair," said Dolohov as he raised his own wand.

McNair advances on both Oliver and Parvati and the other unknown Death Eaters moves around Dolohov to point his own wand at Hannah. Both pairs started sending spells and curses at each other. Hannah was losing ground against the Death Eater and Remus was getting distracted. He kept deflecting Dolohov's curses but also kept looking over at Hannah.

I need to do something but wasn't sure what to do. I couldn't let them know I was there but I knew that sooner or later Remus would die.

Pointing my wand at the Death Eater that Hannah I silently sent Alarte Ascendare. I saw him shoot back and fall of the ledge. He screamed as he fell. Hannah looked shocked at that and moved in front of Remus by accident. Dolohov flicked his wand at her and Remus deflected it. I pointed my wand between them, "Confringo." I said ground exploded between them and Dolohov jumped back. Remus grunted as a piece of stone hit his shoulder knocking him on his back. Dolohov yelled, "Avada Kedavra!" at the same spot where Remus had been standing.

Hannah was standing there instead without the protection of Remus anymore. The spell hit her in the chest and she fell off the ledge. I could hear the sounds of shouts of horror coming from the courtyard below.

I looked over just as Oliver stunned McNair and ran up behind Dolohov. Dolohov seeing as he was outnumbered shot up into the air wrapped in shadows. Parvati screamed in anger and pain as she got closer to the side of the ledge where Hannah's body had fallen. Oliver grabbed her around the waist. "Stop, she's gone Parvati." Remus was still on the floor but he was also facing the same ledge. I looked down as I felt something drip down my arm. My shoulder throbbed and I realized I had also gotten hit with a flying piece of stone. My magic was cold as it pulsed along with my mark. It settled almost painfully on my skin.

I turned away from Parvati's crying face, Oliver's shocked face and Remus's guilt-ridden face. I had more blood on my hands now. I looked down at them as I walked away. Occluding with everything I had, I knew I was going to break soon if I didn't hurry up.

I slowly made my way down towards the Bell Towers. I had one more person to save. I tried not to think about who I would have to trade this life for. I couldn't let my mind process that or else I would accidently drop my shields. I walked past the east wing where I could hear Slughorn and Sprout talking. I guess they were going to defend this side. Bill, Colin, and Tonks must be near the two towers.

The sound of Tonks' voice reached me first. "Teddy can change his hair color!" Tonks said excitedly. "Really?" Colin asked. I had gotten closer now and could see Tonks standing next to Colin. Her hair was neon purple and she had her pig nose out. Colin looked fascinated with her.

Bill was standing by the opened wooden doors which led to the greenhouses outside. He didn't seem to be paying attention to them. He was looking down at his feet with a frown on his face. I walked around Tonks, who was still talking about baby Teddy, to stand near Bill. I looked at his profile which had those long claw marks across his face. I checked to see if I still had my charms on since I knew that Greyback could smell me and hear me.

I knew that Bill couldn't turn into a werewolf every month like Remus could but I knew that he did have some attributes that resembled a werewolf. He seemed lost in thought but every once in awhile he would look out the doors. In the distance, we could hear the clock chime. It had been going off all night.

One second it was silent and the next you could hear Bellatrix's insane laughter coming from outside. Two black shadows swept through the doors and suddenly there stood Bellatrix. I tensed up. I wish I could kill her now but I knew I couldn't. The second shadow showed a man who stood to face Colin and Tonks. Bill had stepped in front of Bellatrix.

"You blood-traitor whore! You don't deserve to call yourself a pureblood!" Bellatrix yelled at Bill who in return sneered. "Crucio!" she screamed at him. He deflected the curse over and over again. I moved away from him and closer to Tonks who was fighting with the Death Eater that had arrived with Bellatrix.

"Mulciber, take care of her and the runt!" screeched the insane witch as she threw another crucio at Bill. Mulciber doubled his efforts against Tonks. Colin was also sending spells his way but Mulciber was stronger and faster. I gripped my wand ready to interfere when I heard Bill let out a roar as he was finally hit with one of Bellatrix's curses. He writhed on the floor. Bellatrix turned her attention to Tonks and didn't even glance at Colin. She flicked her wand at him and he flew back and hit the wall with a loud thud. "Go, fetch the rest and bring them here," Bellatrix said to Mulciber. He left and Bellatrix took over.

"You are a disgrace Nymphadora. You married a flea infested beast and gave birth to his horrendous dog." she cackled as she sent a curse at Tonks.

Tonks looked at her aunt with a determined look on her face. She was a strong witch and Auror but her aunt had more experience. I looked over at Bill but he was still caught in the throes of the cruciatus. I stepped in front of him and pointed my wand at Bellatrix's robes. "Incendio," I said quietly. The fire started up her robes and she shrieked as she turned her attention to her robes. I got up and pointed my wand at Tonks silently sending Everte Statum. It threw Tonks back into the wall. I heard Bellatrix yell out, "Deprimo Maximus!"

Colin had gotten up from his position on the floor and had run at Bellatrix with his wand out. The spell hit him directly in the chest. He gasped and fell on his back. His fingers clawed at his chest as the curse crushed his chest. Bellatrix laughed loudly and turned her wand towards Tonks. I pointed my wand at Bellatrix's head; the killing curse on the tip of my tongue.

Before she could utter a curse we heard Slughorn running down the hall with Sprout behind him. "Leave her alone you monster!" bellowed Slughorn as he pointed his wand at Bellatrix. Bill had finally moved to his side and raise his wand as well. Bellatrix snarled and left in a cloud of smoke out the opened doors.

Colin gave a loud gasp and stopped moving. Tonks screamed, "No!" as she crawled towards Colin. She grabbed his shoulders carefully and ran a diagnostic test quickly over him. Slughorn and Sprout had finally reached us and looked down sadly at Colin.

Bill shakily got to his feet as he walked slowly towards Tonks. His whole body was trembling as he kneeled down beside Tonks, "I'm sorry, Tonks." She sobbed loudly and turned her head into his shoulder. I looked away as something deep in my chest shook in grief. I couldn't watch this anymore. I walked away for the fourth time with my shields barely in place and my soul more damaged than before. I was a monster for standing there and doing nothing.

I walked back to the Gryffindor tower where I had left Rowle. I need to get rid of him before my past self would go to the common room. I slowly made my way up the stairs and stopped at the portrait. I lifted my hand and carefully opened it. It would be my last time walking into the Gryffindor tower. I would not be returning here ever again.

I could hear Rowle still screaming but it was hoarse and almost gone. I pointed my wand at the window beside the fireplace, "Confringo," I said softly. The window exploded into a million pieces. I then pointed my wand at his body, "Mobilicorpus." I slowly moved his body over by the window and slipped him through it. His legs were out the window and his torso balanced his body on the broken window. I looked down at him in disgust. "I hope you rot in hell." I let him go and dropped all of the spells and curses on him. He screamed as he fell. I should have felt something. Anything. I had just killed willingly.

I heard the clock chime again as I calmly walked out of the tower. It had been my home for many years. It had so many memories but I walked out on it all. It held no place in the future in front of me. I closed the portrait and walked towards the moving staircase. Instead of heading down I went up. I walked several stairs up and looked down.

I waited for my past self to walk into the tower. I looked around at all of the empty portraits. I would never set eyes on this ever again. I should have felt sad. I should have cried that this was the way my years at Hogwarts was going to end. I didn't.

I heard footsteps below me and looked down. I saw myself head into the tower. Nobody would know what exactly I had given up when I turned the time-turner. I fingered it through my shirt.

Walking down the stairs I dropped my disillusionment charm and headed towards the Entrance Hall. I need to talk to Harry and get rid of the time-turner. I couldn't keep it with me or I would be tempted to use it again. I looked around and saw Harry walking out alone from the Great Hall. He looked around slowly. His eyes skimmed over me and sharply moved back. He stared at me for the longest time. His eyes moved down my face to my arm. I had forgotten about the wound I had gotten from the Dark Tower.

He walked slowly towards me before suddenly sprinting towards me. I stood there still not willingly to feel anything since I knew I would break down completely. He didn't stop once he reached me. He engulfed me in a tight hug, the smell of smoke and death clinging to his every pore. Not giving my wound a second thought I raised my arms slowly and embraced him back. He needed this from me. Just like I had needed it from him when Ron had left us back at the tent which felt like ages ago.

"I'm so glad you are okay Hermione." I nodded and stepped away. I didn't meet his eyes as I said, "I'm glad you're okay too Harry." I glanced down at my hand which had dried blood all over it. "I'm leaving for a while. I need to get away. Severus is alive, Harry. I was able to save him. He is in a safe place now. You know he now he was never a Death Eater. Don't ask how I know. Draco and Narcissa will stay with me as well. Just inform me when we will have trails for them."

He looked shocked for a moment. "I don't understand, Hermione. What about Ron? What about everybody else. They will want to know what happened to you" I looked up at him. "I can't Harry. I have done some stuff that...I'm not myself anymore Harry. I will look after them. Just let Kingsley know. Plus, Yaxley has taken my mother and my father was killed. I need to find her and the only people who would know anything about her will be them." He stared down at me and nodded. "Okay, I'll let them know but are you going to be safe?" I turned away from him before replying.

"I was never safe Harry."

0o0o0o0 Always 0o0o0o0

So….I don't know what to say.

Review/comment

~Nessa


	8. Chapter 8

Not my world. It belongs to J.k. Rowlings.

Note at the end.

0o0o0o0 Always 0o0o0o0

Chapter 8

Landing on the driveway of my parent's house I stood there a moment trying to gather my thoughts. The sun was slowly rising so the chill that had been in the air was slowly fading. I looked up at the two-story house that my grandfather had built for my grandmother. It had a history. It had been given to my father as a gift when he had married my mother all those years ago. He had written a will before the war ended stating that the house and everything thing else they owned had been left to me.

I slowly made my way to the house. A couple of feet away from the door I felt the wards I had told Draco to put up react to my presence. I felt the pull the pull as they let me in. I put my wand in my back pocket as I opened the door. Walking into the foyer I had barely taken two steps when I came face to face with Draco Malfoy. He had his wand pointed directly at my face. "What did you do to me in the third year.?" he asked as he gazed down at me.

I walked right up to him. "I punched you," I said as I walked around him and into the hallway, "Whose wand are you using?"

I heard him following me towards the stairs. "Why didn't you tell me that Severus was here? You do know he's a Death Eater right. Not a good one, he was Vol-HIS favorite follower. As well as the highest ranked Death Eater." I stopped midway up the stairs. "I know everything and more than you know, Malfoy. He isn't who you think he is. He had always been on the side of the light but stands in the shadows." I left him there and walked towards my room where I had left Snape in. I opened the door to see Narcissa Malfoy sitting in one of my grandmother's velvet chairs.

I stopped as she rose up from her perch on the seat. "Miss Granger, thank you for giving us sanctuary." I looked coldly at her. "Don't thank me yet Mrs. Malfoy. There is a reason why you are all here." Glancing over to Snape I realized that he was awake and had a bit of color to his face. He was still pale but he was naturally pale so that wasn't much of change. His eyes didn't have the glazed look in them anymore and he seemed to be breathing easier.

"Miss Granger, what happened.?" I ignored him and walked over to my closet. His voice had sounded a bit rough but otherwise seemed to sound the same. I pulled out a gray hoodie with black pants. "Granger, I have brought two others with me. Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott. They didn't want any of this just like us. I only brought them since I don't know where Pansy is at." I looked over at the boy's standing behind him. One had dark skinned and handsome features. I remember seeing him around Malfoy a lot but he had never spoken to me. The other was actually near my height. He had dark black hair that curled a bit at the end and had dark green eyes. He was looking at me as if waiting for me to throw him out.

I nodded slowly, "I'll let Harry know about it so that he can tell Kingsley as well." I was about to enter my private bathroom when I heard Snape growl loudly. "Drop them, Granger." I stopped and looked at him without saying anything. "Drop them!" Everybody in the room except for myself jumped. "I can't drop them," I said without dropping his gaze. He had a frown on his face and was clenching his teeth hard enough we could hear them grind painfully together. "Drop what?" asked Draco as he walked over to Snape.

We both ignored him. "Have you told them the truth Snape?" I asked as I set my clothes on the desk which was right next to my bathroom door. He looked at Narcissa then at me again. "I have told her that I was a spy all along but not anything else." Draco gasped and moved back, "You were a spy, godfather?"

Snape nodded but kept his gaze on me. "Drop them, Granger. Now." Narcissa was also staring at me hard, "Why do you sound off, Miss Granger?" She asked. I glanced at her to Snape. "I'm occluding. I have my shields up. That is why I am not killing any of you in my grief," I looked at Snape calmly, "I have done what Dumbledore has wanted me to do." His eyes widened and before narrowing into slits. "Drop your shields! Do it before you push yourself to the point of no return!" He shouted at me.

I closed my eyes and tried doing that. I tried doing what he said but I couldn't seem to care enough. I balled my hands into a fist as I pushed again. "What did you do to push yourself so far into yourself, Granger?" asked Snape. Opening my eyes I noticed that he had gotten off the bed and was holding onto the bedpost. "I had to kill and trade a life for another. I had to save those that needed saving but I had only begun my task and I could already feel my soul tearing savagely. I didn't think it would affect me so hard.

I had to push myself with everything kill. I might not have done it directly but I made it happen. I saved Fred Weasley in exchange for his elder brother Percy. I saved Lavender Brown for Hestia Jones. I also saved Remus Lupin for Hannah Abbott. I saved his wife Nymphadora for Colin Creevey," I heard Narcissa gasp at the mention of her niece. "I knew I couldn't do any of them without some sort of consequence but I didn't think it would be like this."

Snape had gotten paler as I talked. "I did what had been asked of me. Now I don't know how to come back from it all." I said hollowly. He stared hard at me and raised his wand at my head, "Finite Maximus Leto." One moment I'm protected inside of my head when I felt something hit my shields so powerfully that I didn't get time to react in time to fight it. I felt my emotions hit me like an exploding dam. They washed over me until they engulfed me whole.

The pain of losing the one man in my life who I had always counted to be there for me. The man who I had always dreamed of walking me down the aisle. My father was gone! I screamed inside of my head as well on the outside. I fell to my knees and grabbed my hair in my fist. I pulled several chunks of hair and I screamed again. My magic was swirling out of control along with my emotions. My mother was probably dead as well. Not my mother either please I screamed helplessly. I felt somebody grab my hands I screamed again before pushing them away with my magic. I whimpered as I heard Percy screaming, Hestia's neck snapping, Hannah's shocked face as she fell off the ledge and Colin's pain filled eyes as his chest compressed inward.

"Make it stop!" I screamed again as I crawled on the floor. I didn't know where I was going but I need to get away from all the death. I dimly heard somebody say, "Dermeus." Everything went black after that.

0o0o0

I heard snoring first. Somebody was snoring really loudly.

I opened my eyes slowly, the room was barely lit but it still hurt my eyes. The lamp on my desk was on and the outline of a body was on the chair next to me. I laid there for a bit longer trying to process my thoughts. Closing my eyes, I searched my mind as everything started sinking in with startling clarity. My father was dead, it didn't hurt as much as it did before. I pushed harder when I realized that it was blocked, not confined but just blocked. I hadn't done that, somebody else must have done it so I could function without falling under the crippling pain.

I realized that I could breath easier without the pain crushing my chest. I opened my eyes again and noticed that the room didn't seem to be as dark as before. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. It was barely going to be six-thirty. I sat up slowly but nothing ached so I took that as a good sign. I looked around for my wand which I found to be lying next to my pillow as well as my beaded grab. Grabbing it I flicked it towards the light switch beside my door.

As the light turned on I looked over at the figure which had been snoring earlier beside my bed. It was Blaise Zabini. He seemed to be in deep sleep so the light didn't wake him up. I moved to the side away from him and looked down in surprise. I was wearing a black nightgown. It covered me from my neck to my knees and had long sleeves on. Narcissa must have changed me into it but the nightgown screamed Snape. I headed towards my closet to grab clothes. Grabbing a baggy long sleeve shirt with black jeans as well as undergarments. I headed towards my bathroom.

Washing up quickly I changed and slipped on some sneakers before walking out. The chair where Blaise had been sleeping was vacant. The sun was barely rising so the room was brighter. I turned off the lights and headed downstairs.

I walked into the dining room. Narcissa and Malfoy were sitting down and the rest seemed to be in the kitchen. I nodded towards them and walked into the kitchen to see Snape talking to Blaise and Theo looking out the front windows. They stopped and turned to look at me. Theo froze as well and turned to slowly look at me too. I looked at each of them in return before speaking, "How long was I out?" Snape walked towards me, "Two days." he said. I nodded before moving around him and towards the opened window above the sink. Gazing out into the trees I hadn't realized that I had been rubbing my arm until I heard Snape ask, "Why do you keep rubbing your arm? I thought you only had one wound?" I looked down at my arm.

"It's an old one," I said and was about to turn back towards the window when he walked up to me and grabbed my arm. He raised the sleeve up and hissed. "Who did this?" I looked over at both Malfoy's. "Bellatrix did it when Harry, Ron and me got caught by the snatchers. It didn't look like this at first but it changed shortly after. I was going to ask about if it grew bigger."

"Grew bigger?" asked Narcissa as she moved over beside Snape and gazed down at my arm. She gasped once she looked closely at it. "It wasn't like this before! Bellatrix must have done more than just carved into your arm." I nodded, "I feel it pulsating when somebody uses Dark Magic around me. It also seems to enhance my use of hard magic."

Snape was frowning as he examined the wound. He looked tired but not deathly tired. He was moving around without difficulty and seemed to be able to talk without much effort. His neck was a little visible above his robes but nothing seemed out of place. The Phoenix Tears must have worked a lot better than any of the potions I had given him.

"I'll look more closely at it later," he said as he let go of my arm. I waved my hand, "No need. As long as it isn't killing me I'll deal with it, Snape. We need to wait for Harry to send word of what has been decided about the Malfoy's and you. I have already told Harry that I need you three specifically but I don't know exactly what the conditions will be. Right now I am more focused on finding my mother." I tried not to think about my father. It only made my head hurt since the pain would try to fight its way through the shields that have already been placed on me.

Just to be sure I need to bring up my own shields but not to the point where I couldn't bring them down. I know knew that my limit would be if my shields felt like they would break and shatter but in reality it had been my emotions themselves sever from me completely.

I was going to bring up the shields when I saw an owl land on the window ledge which held flowers. Dead flowers that is. A slice of pain ripped through me and I stiffened. My mark was surprisingly silent. It only seems to react around Dark Magic. The owl was Pig, Ron's owl. He had a large rolled up piece of parchment on its legs and it was not balancing well on the ledge. I untied the parchment. It flew away, dropping a feather on the pot of flowers outside.

Walking around the small table in the middle of the kitchen I headed out towards the living room. I sat down on the sofa facing the fireplace. Blaise and Theodore sat on one side while Narcissa and Malfoy took the couch on my right side. Snape leaned against the fireplace. I opened the parchment and noticed Harry's writing right away.

 _Hermine,_

 _I hope you're safe. I wanted to speak with you directly but things have been very hectic here at The Burrow. I'm staying with them for now but I wanted to tell you that Molly wants you to come stay here. I have spoken with Kingsley and he says that the trails will be held a week from now. The Death Eaters that are already in custody will not have trails but will be sent to Azkaban awaiting the Kiss. If you can tell me where exactly you're at I could pick them up for it. I will be speaking for them as well as Snape. I know that Snape will have to pay for killing Dumbledore but if I show them the memories of what actually happened it might sway them a little. I can't forgive him for doing what he did but I can try to understand._

 _Blaise Zabini, Theodore Nott, The Malfoy family and Severus Snape will be the first few getting trails._

 _Just be careful Hermione. Kingsley as well as everybody else in the Order wanted them to get the Kiss. The public thinks that we have them already but only Kingsley and I know. Tonks has become the head for the Auror's for now and will be letting me know the time and place for the trails. Don't let them out in the public and please reply back to me. Ask them for a list of all known Death Eaters as well as anybody else affiliated with them._

 _Love,_

 _Harry_

I reread it again and looked up at Snape. He was looked intently at me. I got up and handed him the note. "Trails will be a week from now. I will owl Harry the location we're at and he will be taking you." Draco was sharing a look with his mother and Blaise was looking down at his hands. Nott was staring at the ceiling and twisting his hands together. "What exactly will you be doing, Granger?" asked Snape as he finished reading the note.

Grabbing a couple of parchment pieces I handed them to him, "I will be hunting for my mother and those that murdered my father." I said without batting an eyelash as everybody turned to look at me. "That is why you are here. I need resources and information. I have a week to complete this. I know the chances of my mother being alive is slim but I will find her." I said with cold intent.

I had to. She was the only family I had left. If she is really dead…

0o0o0o0 Always 0o0o0o0

Sorry for the totally late update. I had somebody dear to me pass away and I almost stopped writing this because of it. I am sorry for that. But I can't stop writing it.

Again sorry for the delay and hopefully you're still around to read this till the end.

~Nessa


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